I'll never find myself a boyfriend who doesnt give me a sense of security. I've enough of all these 2-timing rubbish. If i ever get myself with this kind of guy again, before anything could start to happen, i'll say "bye" to him before you an say "abracadebra". My knight in shining armour is someone who could protect me from all that nonsense and give me that secure feeling that i'm yearning for.. and i hope HE is the one i'm looking for..

Went over to my colleague's apartment today for the chinese new year along with my boy.. There's this girl, F, she's also there too.. And she happened to be one of the crushes he had in the past (i'm not too sure about now though). She was there along with her boyfriend.. I dunno if i'm over-sensitive or what.. But i dun think i am.. I realised that he was eyeing her quite often. Later on, i asked him if he still likes her.. He said no. Oh well.. but i'm not very dumb either. I had learnt much from the past not to see things from the surface. Think beneath it. The more pessimistic, the more truth it'll hold.. I'm not always cheerful and optimisstic as people often thought me to be..

PS. Guess what.. I just got to know that my GP teacher, Mr T, he is actually my neighbour! He's staying at the block that is beside mine. Gosh.. saw him yesterday at the carpark, i said "Hi" and he goes "you're serena right?" Wow.. it's a real surprise that he could remember me. I'm not a very outstanding student, nor the worst. Anyway, he changed his Mitsubitshi Lancer to a Honda.. more of a family kinda car. Cant believe he'd opt for a family car than a sports car like he usually would. And btw, the car's still black.

posted by Serena on 1/25/2004 12:02:32 AM

Just finished having my reunion dinner with my family.

My cousin had came back to Singapore from Los Angeles, especially to have this reunion with us. Ermm.. do i miss him? ermm.. not really actually. Maybe i'm quite used to it already. But he's not very Americanized, like some people do. Singapore vs America: not much difference, i guess.

Anyway, to the Chinese, Happy Chinese New Year. :)

posted by Serena on 1/22/2004 12:08:16 AM

It's the chinese new year eve today.. Stayed at home all day cleaning up my room. I've finished clearing up my table a few days ago and i'm supposed to clean up the dust that are leftover after that day.. and also, scrub the toilet floors. *sigh*

Just finished talking to my boy boy over the phone while playing bejeweled on MSN with him. It's been years since i've touched that game. A few years ago i was so addicted to it.. but now.. well.. my skill has gone down to the drain. But, wait till i finish polishing up my skills before challenging him to it.. HaHaHa. Ya know.. it's good to act "dumb" sometimes in some ocassions. :p This is my best skill. Friend who know me will absolutely agree. *opps!* :)

Anyway, time for the reunion dinner.

posted by Serena on 1/21/2004 05:52:14 PM

It seems like everyone else i know is facing some kind of relationship problem. Are relationships always meant to be this unhappy in the end? Why does it always end up someone getting hurt? If someone were meant to get hurt, why start at all? There's no forever. Sparks do fly initially, but it dies as quickly as it begins. Love is the only thing that last.. and is forever.. i supposed. It's a bond that ties 2 person together.. no just some attraction in one kind or another..

"When u say u love me, please mean it.. and please let it be forever.."

posted by Serena on 1/20/2004 08:52:48 PM

It rained heavily today. It's the best time to stay at home and sleep, but i'm supposed to meet an ex-colleague of mine to get my Business Law textbook from him. It had been quite sometimes since i've last seen him.. I wonder how's things between him and his ex. I'm curious, but i'm afraid to ask. From his unintentional words, i supposed it's still the same.. *sigh* T.. if this this goes on, i guess he'll never get himself a girlfriend. No girl will ever get herself involved with a guy who still cares about his ex-girlfriend like how he would to his girlfriend. Maybe there are.. like girls who are in similiar situation as him? I almost got myself in such situation.. but i escaped from it in the nick of time. Lucky me.

posted by Serena on 1/19/2004 09:21:34 PM

Been having headache for the whole day today.. I need a massage! Anyone? Anybody? Most probably a head massage. Feel like a walking zombie for the whole day too.. gotta find something to do.. hmm... maybe i should change the template of my blog or something? Been stoning at home all day.. exploring the new G7100 i just bought and going online for hours. Gotta find something constructive to do..

I'm glad i've found someone.. Someone who really cares and treasure me. I feel safe around him. It's a precious feeling.. and i really treasure it. Thank you darling. :) I'm glad i had gotten over my last one and move on to love someone else. I'm glad that i've found you darling. I love you. And i hope it wouldnt change. Ever.


posted by Serena on 1/18/2004 11:33:07 PM

Bought a new LG G7100 handset today. *sigh* There goes my S$348.. My hard-earned S$384.. :p

posted by Serena on 1/18/2004 04:14:31 PM

Strangely, i'm not so tired today.. Talked with boy boy till late last night at about 2am and woke up at about 7 the next morning. Normally i should be drop-dead by now. I've no idea why i'm still here writing this blog entry. More like i've got nothing to do right now.. no tv, no books to read.. except to hold the telephone on one hand which links me to my boy boy and type onto the keyboard with the other hand.

He told me he was kinda caught in the rain while working last Sunday.. and now, he wasnt feeling too good.. plus he've been quite tired i guess... after i "made" him talk to me on the phone last night till 2am. *sigh* Guess i shouldnt call him so late at night so frequently.

My first lesson in Macroeconomics was ok, i guess.. Was hoping we'd be getting a cute lecturer from RMIT itself.. but.. no.. oh well.. so our whole lesson was to stare at the Indian lecturer and trying hrad to make out her unique accent.

Guess it's time to sleep early, at least, for tonight. Goodnight folks! :)

posted by Serena on 1/12/2004 09:03:35 PM

*yawn* slept for the whole day today.... My boy boy was out working today, working hard for the $$$, making full use of precious time while i was snoring at home, doing nothing constructive. I hope i'll be working next week though. He's gonna be "rich" sometime sooner or later... *sigh* while i'm getting poorer!

When a person initially got into a relationship, does the person always wonder about the sincerity of the other party? .... no... maybe not for those who still believe in fairytale romance.. i guess..

posted by Serena on 1/11/2004 11:22:01 PM

Tired, tired, tired.. guess i'll be forever until one final day, the government started announcing that all of us dont have to go to school, all of us are not required to work because singapore will provide us with the food, shelter and clothes for free.. Hell.. I still cannot pretend that reality doesnt exist. Life is tiring. Problems arise out of nowhere.. especially anything complicated like relationships between friends, family and lovers. Sometimes how i wish i could just run away from everything right now..

posted by Serena on 1/11/2004 12:52:53 AM

There will always be this devil in us. Devil, and i don't mean doing something nasty, but it is definately something negative which we cant help by being controlled by that "devil" in us sometimes. I've no reason why... but have u ever realised that u're more attracted to things that u desire, but couldnt get.. instead of things that are within ur grasp? Some people are able to keep that "devil" in control, forget it, and throw away that feeling of desire.. but others are so into it that they had became obsessed. One example is "love". Certain people are so upset that the other party doesnt return their feelings that they've became so obsessed, so infatuated, so dumb and so freaky. Mind you.. that's not love at all. That's obsession. That's wanting something that u know you cant get. That's desire. Please Ron, just get on with ur life.

Today's another tiring day in school. Well.. at least i didn sleep in class today.. It's been so long since school last for the whole day. I was actually surprised when i think back on my JC days... My classes all went on for one full day, from morning till evening, without much break in between.. guess this explains why i was sick so often during those days.. imagine, those "days" were actually only a year or more ago! and i've forgotten all about it. Guess it wasnt good enough for me to keep it in my memories.. High stress level.. and a bad relationship. That Fucking Bastard. What i only remember are my friends.. who had made my JC life a more pleasant phase to go thru.

*sigh* I miss my darling so much today! he didn sms me much either.. Guess he's busy and he needs alot of concentration in class.... I was intending to meeting him today.. it's been like, so many many daysss eversince i've seen him. He said he's got a very schedule today... and we'll meet other days.. I wonder if he missed me.. or if he's distracted by other girls in his school.. oh welll. Whatever.

posted by Serena on 1/8/2004 07:04:52 PM

It's such a tiring day! *phew* i was half-asleep and not listening to the lecturer at all in the morning.. I'd bet everyone else in the same class as me was half-asleep at the moment in time. But ;ater on in the afternoon, we had a Marketing lecture.. and the lecturer was soo cute! haha.. and the lecturer himself (he's australian, btw) agreed that he himself is cute... (guys can be so thick-skinned sometimes.. no matter the age :p)

This is my second day in school eversince school started. You know.. sometimes i feel as if like i'm still a very young kid, like a kid who had just started going to school.. Everything about school is meeting people, talking to friends.. and nothing will be ever related to study. And the wierdest thing is that, i love going to school for exams! But i hate the process of it.. :p

Read my darling's blog online just now.. I feel alittle uneasy after reading it though.... Cos he was talking abt his past relationship.. how he was so into this girl.. blah, blah, blah... although i'm not too sure which girl.. but.. oh well. I guess everyone has a past.. That includes me.. And i wonder how would he feel if he really got to know what happened in my life in the past. Oh.. btw, an i also wonder if he tells almost ever girls he dates that he thinks she's The One for him..


posted by Serena on 1/7/2004 07:59:13 PM